When you say goodbye to your husband for 1 week, 5 weeks, 2 months, 4 months, 12 months or even 15 months, it doesn’t matter the length, it’s still a “goodbye”.
Hubby left this morning for a few months. Although I have grown up in this type of lifestyle and I married into this lifestyle, it doesn’t give me an advantage over another spouse who has never experienced a duty length or deployment. It is all the same! We all say the same “goodbye”.
For me as a spouse, I cope as I can. But, to see the sadness in my children’s faces when their Daddy is packed up and sent off, it’s a heartbreaking scene no matter how many times we experience it.
I put up a brave face in front of my girls today. (I’m not suggesting that this is the best way. Sometimes it is good when the children see their mom display emotions when Daddy leaves.) But, I have found it easier for me to put on the brave face for my girls, because I need them to feel that they have nothing to worry about. Mommy’s “got this!” Mommy is strong and can handle it!
I grew up with some amazing influences between Grandma’s on both sides deal with the challenges of being a military spouse of Army and Navy. I grew up watching my Mom raise three children, pursue a Bachelors degree and graduate with Honors, and then do part time work, all while balancing the dual role of Mom AND Dad, while my Dad served alerts and TDY’s as an Air Force Officer.
So, now that I am a military spouse and Mom myself, my influences have taught me how to take on every challenge with strength, courage, faith in God, and so much more!
It won’t be easy these next few months and I know there will be inevitable hard days ahead. I know I may cry a few times out of frustration, worry, loneliness, and pure exhaustion being the sole parent taking on life, kids, house, finances, taxes and whatever life throws my way. I just have to continue to rely on God and continue to pray for my Hubby.
Upon arrival to the airport, in the drop off lane, my Hubby pulled out one large tuff box and one large duffel bag. He ran to both sides of the car to give his baby girls hugs and kisses and then stood at the curb giving me two big squeezing hugs and kisses before he departed. As I got back in my car to fix the mirror and drive off, I checked my rear view to see my girl’s faces with quiet expressions and with little tears running down their faces.
To distract them from the sadness, I surprised them with a manicure and pedicure followed by a trip to the local food truck bakery for some hot malasadas to take home. Hawaii’s food truck yumminess seems to make everything better for a time. It didn’t take away the sting of letting go of their Daddy, but it did distract them from the reality for a little bit.
The days are always easier to fill, but it’s at night and on the weekends when we really feel the void of not having Daddy home!
I am grateful for the Army family. In every training mission or deployment I’ve experienced, I’ve always had family nearby. Some are my true blood line family, but most of them are my “Army family”, my “framily” who have rallied beside me through sick or crying kiddos. They’ve prayed with me and for my husband. They’ve been company and conversation on those days that I just needed to feel like an adult. They’ve been the constant in a world of inconsistency.
I am very thankful for the friends that have been the blessings! They completely understand and continue to care enough to check in when days, like today, get a little more challenging.
I pray for my Hubby and his company over the next few months! Please Lord Place a hedge of protection or him on every flight and mission. And please Lord, give me the strength needed to do what I need to do to get through!