I have truly been meaning to write more, but alas LIFE has taken over. My hubby is an Army pilot, so when duty calls him away, it means mommy does double duty at home. I go straight into “Jenny mode” as my pilot likes to call it and I get into a routine, keeping busy, and keeping kiddos and myself alive and afloat.
Anyway, I’ve written four unpublished blog entries in the last several weeks. At night after my kids are asleep and my day is done is usually the perfect undisturbed quiet time for me to write. But after its all typed out and read through a few times, the tired kicks in, and the editing gets up off to another day.
I find journal writing a little easier to do than blogging. You write it out your thoughts on paper and there is no editing needed because no one else is reading your thoughts on paper.
So with every intention of editing these other blogs…life has happened. I know there are blogger moms out there that balance these types of things better and I so admire that! I hope to eventually organize better!.
It seems only fitting that I would write about my new “Life Planner” and the plans for my life. At the beginning of this year, I really wanted more focus on goals and purpose. I have struggled for several years now over the topic of “purpose“. I am not sure what God’s purpose is for my life. I am still confused over the difference between a God-given talent and a gift. I wonder if my talents or gifts that God has given me aren’t being used.
Every year I try to make changes. At the end of the year some things changed and most things stayed the same. I haven’t set any goals or feel like I have achieved much both personally and professionally.
To get myself organized and more goal oriented, I decided to research planners on Amazon.com. I needed something more than the typical monthly planner to track the days, weeks, and months of my busy schedule. I needed help with tracking these goals, to work toward these goals, creating a vision board, etc.
After reading many great reviews, I bought one life planner called “Laws of Attraction Planner”
After I received it, I was excited to dive in and get started. But, the first 10 pages of this life planner almost became overwhelming as I sat down to answer its thought-provoking questions about my life. Now you would think that these questions would be easy to answer because it is, in fact, my life. There were 10 questions that I had to answer and with the exercise, the planner suggested not to take more than 90 seconds to answer them:
- What do you want to experience in your life if time and money were not an issue?
- How do I want to grow?
- What do I want to give to this world?
- Who am I? Why am I here?
- Where am I going? How do I want to be remembered when I am gone?
- If I achieve all of my life goals, how would I feel? How can I feel that along the way?
- What is most important in my life? What do I value the most? What am I most passionate about?
- What brings me the most joy and sense of peace in my life?
- What does a successful life look like for me?
- What do others most admire about me? What unique gifts do I want to share with the world? What are my top 5 values.
And then from these questions I was given steps to use the answers to the questions and craft your life vision and your life mission.
What was supposed to be easy actually caused me frustration and stress because I was overwhelmed! I really didn’t know how or what to write about my mission and vision and purpose for my life.
The creator of this planner did a great job breaking down goal settings and flow charts to help create a mind map toward your goals. How do you want to achieve these goal and what rewards will you give yourself after those goals have been met. It helps with setting priorities, mapping out what it will take for you to get what you want out of your life. It is truly a life planner! And it’s actually very nice for anyone needing this type of structure as well.
But because I am already struggling in these areas, finding what my life mission, vision, and purpose is, is frustrating!
I started my skin care business a few years ago with particular reasons why I said yes to the opportunity. Although it has given me joy knowing I am helping others with their skin, I haven’t made the business a priority. I had a younger toddlers, my husband was deployed, and other things became the priority. Sadly, when I thought about vision, I don’t even have one for my business.
I know my purpose is clear as a mom and a wife. But, aside from that, I am unsure what else I am meant to do with my life. I can’t be the only wife and mom that feels this way?
I read this fantastic book called “Chase the Lions” based on 2 Samuel 23 telling the true story of an ancient warrior named Benaiah who chased a lion into a pit on a snowy day and then- killed it. It’s about an opportunity to step into our destiny and chase the impossible dreams and fulfilling our God-given dreams.
I highlighted almost every word on every page! Although I finished the book weeks ago, I need to go back and write some of those nuggets of truth so that I can get them through my own nugget (head)!
The book was encouraging, but throughout my reading, I couldn’t help but ask in prayer , “But God what is the dream (your dream) you want me to fulfill?” We all are made with a purpose to glorify and serve God, I just wish I was a little more certain about what that was for me.
My Once upon a time Dreams
In high school I had dreams of becoming a Broadcast Journalism. I wanted to travel the world, see the wonders, and report about the places, the food, the history of where I have traveled. I wanted to be like TLC’s Sandra Brown. I didn’t even think I would get married or have kids. Although I do not ever regret marrying and having children, that dream of Broadcast journalist faded in college when I had to pursue another degree. Then, life went on.
I love my life as a military spouse and mother, but I have stopped “dreaming” of things for myself and started dreaming of things for my beautiful family. I think most mothers can agree that a mom’s dream gets pushed aside for the dream of what they want for their children, but not truly for themselves. I know not all moms give up their dreams and sometimes they are lucky enough to have their dreams morph into something beyond what they ever could have imagined.
Unfortunately, I can’t answer the question: “where do you see yourself in a year… three years… five years.” “What goals do you want to achieve in the next 6 months?” I even stared long and hard at the blank lines on the page that asked me to name 50 goals in all areas of my life.
After about a week and a half on this quest of finding a mission and vision for my life, I actually BROKE DOWN one morning. I just got finished dropping off my beautiful girls to school and I came home to see my handsome husband dressed in his uniform about to go to work. I told him I didn’t have a vision…a mission…a dream…a purpose… and I simply broke down into this pool of tears.
I can’t tell you where I see myself in 6 months… 1 year… 3 years… 5 years. Personally or professionally, I am not sure what I want to be or what I want to do. I don’t have many hobbies and of the few things that are interesting me, I am having a hard time keeping up with, like Blogging and GoPro video editing. I love sharing my skin care business with others, but it is not big business yet.
One morning, my sweet daughters and I were having breakfast. Charlize was watching the news with me and she said, “Mommy, what do you want to do when we are gone?”
Puzzled by what she meant and answered “I don’t know”. She went on to explain the best way a 7 year can, “What would you like to do after we are all grown up and gone. Didn’t you say you wanted to report and travel?
“You can be one of those reporters on TV traveling and reporting different places. So I can turn on the TV and get too see you every day. You can do that!”
Struggling to find my vision or purpose, my daughter ever so sweetly gave a suggestion. Maybe it was God giving me more insight through my daughter? Who knows. But later that morning after they were both in school, I sat down in a quiet house, sipping my coffee and I revisited that GOALS page in my planner. Instead of the limiting myself to the little space on each line numbered to 50, I decided to find a lined piece of paper and I started to write my goals.
I never numbered them and there isn’t quite 50 goals, I’ll share those below:
To wholeheartedly (sincerely, completely devoted, determined) and passionately live and love life for:
* God-by being the light for others and following His dream and plans
* Family and friends by serving them and their needs before my own.
* My children-by raising and influencing them to be good Christian women and follow God..
*My husband-by being the positive support and help-mate as a wife and military spouse.
*My work-of helping others through skin care and helping support the homeless and abused animals and continue to give for their needs.
On one quiet morning alone in the house, sipping my hot coffee, the beautiful Hawaiian mountains in my backyard, and the birds chirping in the sun, I decided to take a moment and really think. I took the opportunity and wrote down some goals I hope to eventually do.
I finally answered the question.
“If there was no limit to what you could do/be/buy or become, what would you do in the next 20-50 years? If you couldn’t not fail, what would you do? Do not try to be realistic, and do not set smart goals, instead, set big goals and big visions for your life. Don’t be practical! List 50 top goals that you want to achieve in all areas of your life and then fill in the time frame you wish to achieve those specific goals in terms of months or years.”
My goals: (in no particular order and not 50 goals)
- Go back and visit Europe again. Explore London again.
- Go to France and see Eiffel Tower, Louvre, Paris again
- Go to Scotland and see the castles and the pubs again.
- Go to Italy and see Venice and Rome again.
- Visit Spain, Germany, Greece, Australia, for the first time and see all of its beauty.
- Learn to Hula dance while living here in Hawaii
- Learn another language…Tagalog, Spanish or French
- Do skydiving once-to share in the joy Chris sees (Tandem jump?)
- Stand Up Paddle Board, jet ski, on the oceans of Hawaii
- Be on TV for something cool and meaningful-reporting, exploring, site-seeing
- Volunteer and be involved in animal shelter help. Work with Military Working Dogs rehabilitation for PTSD? Raise money and awareness for the abused animals and animals too soon euthanized. Be able to donate large amounts of funds to the local shelters I currently support like A Place to Bark. To be a regular sponsor for those animal rescue groups.
- Learn about wine-be a wine sommelier, learning about the harvest of grapes and vineyard
- Build up a large blog and GoPro following with my adventures, life stories, life experiences
- travel back to California to visit San Diego, visit my Grandma May and Grandpa Ralph buried in Riverside.
- Drive a Dodge Viper. White with blue racing stripes down the middle, like the very one my Grandpa Ralph owned years ago.
- Relearn motorcycle riding on a closed track again. Build up the confidence to ride for pleasure and leisure.
- Be able to fund my parents with a house and help pay off their debts
- Give Chris the “dream car” fun car he’s always wanted with the cash flow to do it up big.
- Be in a fitness competition-NOT for bodybuilding but for fitness and just to say I tried it once.
- Be given a car as a reward for my work. (R+F rewarded with a LEXUS of your choosing for the level you achieve. Believe that it is achievable)
- Have flawless skin (dark spot free) to be a billboard for my business.
- Be able to send my girls to a very good school. High School and/or college.
- Build a house (our dream house) with Everything we’d always dreamed of having in our house, in a spot of land that overlooks mountains or water or ocean.
- Be actively involved with a church whether in the Production part or a Woman’s group.
- To be able to travel all over the U.S. to states I’ve been and states I have yet to go. To say that I’ve travelled and seen ALL 50 states.
- Help fund in large sums, to whatever “A Place to Bark” and some other shelters need to help fund and rescue dogs and cats and other animals from kill shelters or from homelessness and illness. That is where my heart lies…in the shelters where the animals can use the resources and the help.
- Short term: To have Izzy know all of the alphabet and being able to at least write her name, address and phone number by Kindergarten.
- Getting Charlize ready for 2nd and 3rd grade and not far behind by mainland standards in 3 years
Have enough money to do Disneyworld and all of that there is to do. Spend a week, money no limit, and have my family truly enjoy all that Disneyworld experience
I write these out to make sure I read through it and remind myself of the these things.
My purpose for blogging is to share my experiences in my life hoping that sometimes what I experienced, is relatable to the right reader, the right mom, the right spouse, the right military spouse, the right woman needing a friend. Sometimes sharing experiences, causes others to feel comfortable knowing they are not alone in this crazy life. We are all doing “life” together.
My VERY first Women’s Arise Conference
In the next three days, I will be participating in my VERY first Women’s Arise Conference with my new church here on Oahu! I’ve always wanted to attend a Women’s conference in the past, but childcare was not always available. The opportunity came open to sign up and have childcare and I wanted to be sure not to miss it! (it’s written in nice bold highlights in my calendar in my Life Planner!)
I am exciting to go even though I will know no one else going! I am still meeting others in my new church and the next three days, the conference will be held for part of the day and part of the evening. I have been really reading the Word and really trying to “Follow” (my one Word for 2017) where God is leading me. I am praying that this three day conference will bring me more clarity as to what God’s purpose and plan is for my life. I feel there is about to be a big break and change, but I am not sure what.
Clear on your purpose
I recently watched a video blog by Sarah Robbins, one of the top earners in my skincare business. She said, “To be strong in your field, you must be very clear on your purpose.”
She then shared the story of Moses and the Israelite people.
“Moses was a leader who was chosen by God to lead the Israelite people out of slavery, and into their promised land. The Israelites were God’s chosen people. God himself showed the Israelite people their promised land. His plan was to bring them out of bondage, into a land flowing with milk and honey.”
“Eventually, the Egyptian people released the Israelites from slavery and they made their journey to the Promised Land. At times, the journey didn’t seem promising. Along the journey to their promise they faced pressures.. And each time the journey got tough, they would want to go back to “what was”. The trouble is “what was” was Egypt. Egypt wasn’t better, they were slaves! Egypt was just what they knew. It was comfortable. Have you ever gotten stuck in your comfort zone?”
The Israelites, like many of us, continued to take two steps forward and one step back when the journey got tough. They would murmur and complain, often blaming their leader, and sometimes they blamed God! This caused their journey to take far longer than it should have (40 years, versus 40 days!) They continued to camp in the place of complacency. I love this quote by Michelle Myers, “Unrecognized complacency eventually develops into decline.”
“Sadly, many of the Israelites didn’t make it to the promised land.” I wonder what would have happened in the Israelites chose to stay focused on the promise, versus the temporary moments of pressure?
What if you were shown your “promise?”
Imagine you are given an opportunity to see into your future…whether it be career, ministry, or business. You look into the future, and see that your success is guaranteed. You’re also shown the pressures that you will face along the journey. Would you be willing to accept the pressure to get to the promise?
I guess what I am asking God is to reveal everything for my life. His plan will not be revealed to us in one swipe without some opposition. And I think what Sarah mentioned was that, what if everything was laid out for you, but the pressure you will face to get there will also be shown. Would you be willing to get through the pressure an the frustration to get what you are being promised?
With this Women’s conference coming up, I am excited and will continue to pray that God will speak to me and it will be more clear what He wants me to do with the time I am here in Hawaii. I will continue to walk in faith that God’s plan will come.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope”
Funny enough shortly after listening to Sarah’s video blog, I also read a book by her husband, Phil. And the prayer that Phil wrote in one of the chapters of his book “The Secret Garage” is something I will continue to pray about. It is printed out and put in one of the page of my new Life planner. I read it every day I open the planner and I take a moment to make sure I am spending that time with God and really listening for His guidance on what my mission, vision and purpose is.
Praying for Purpose:
Father, in your mighty name of Jesus, I bring before you today the areas of my life for which I feel you created me. I ask you that you would reveal your perfect vision for my life right now. Download to my heart the purpose that you have for me.
I submit my life to you today. Please use me in mighty ways, beyond what I could ever imagine.
I lay before you all that I am currently pursuing. I ask that you confirm those things that are part of your plan and wipe out those that aren’t. Give me direction, Lord. In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen.
For now the space to write a mission and a vision will remain blank in my life planner. I know I don’t know what my mission and vision is for my life, but I know He does.
If you are sure about your purpose or dream for your life, do share it with me? Maybe you have struggled with this very thing and one day it became clear for you what you were supposed to do? I would love to hear about that too.
I know God will guide me and I feel like this upcoming Women’s conference will be a brand new fresh start! My life planner, some fellowship with other Christian women from church, and some time spent will hopefully give me more clarity on purpose, vision, and mission. I just want to be able to stand before God one day knowing I fulfilled the purposes He had for me.